Showing Up For Success

Recently at my mother’s funeral, a cousin commented that my parents were at all the major events in his life, even though it meant traveling great distances.

Their showing up for these events made this cousin feel valued and important, and strengthened their relationship. This made me think of Woody Allen’s famous statement, “80 percent of success is showing up.”

Showing up in key moments and at key events creates greater success in your work, your relationships, and your personal life. However, “showing up” may be the road less traveled. It is far easier to settle into the comfort of old habits and routines instead of putting forth this extra effort, but what’s the cost?

The road of showing up in life can lead to rich rewards, but you must determine where, when and how.

When and where to show up

Throughout our days and weeks, we have a multitude of places we could be and things we should be doing. It can seem overwhelming. However, not all options carry equal weight. If you think about showing up in your work, in your relationships and in your personal life, what few things make the biggest impact?

Suggestions of when and where showing up has a bigger impact:

• Milestone events, such as: graduations, weddings, funerals, visiting a loved one’s new home, or the arrival of a new baby.

• Important school and performance events, such as: concerts, plays or presentations.

• At the crossroads, such as when your children leave for and return home from school, a date, camp, etc.

• When service is needed, such as when a loved one is ill, or when a neighbor needs help on a big project.

• Personal care routines, like showing up to exercise regularly.

• Key work activities, such as making the call to follow up with a client.

• Relationship-building activities, like a weekly date night, family vacations or one-on-ones with your children.

How to show up

How you show up is as important as showing up in the first place. If you show up acting put out or resentful for having to be there, it may be worse than not showing up at all. Your attitude is crucial.

Showing up with full presence and with a positive attitude is what makes a positive impact.

Suggestions for how to have a bigger impact when you show up:

• Allow sufficient time for the event or activity so you don’t feel rushed and can be more effective.

• Plan ahead for important events or key activities and schedule them in your calendar.

• Prepare yourself mentally to be fully present and positive.

• Think about why you want to show up. Is your purpose to strengthen a relationship, create memories, show support, to help, to improve your health or financial situation, etc.?

While taking the time to “show up” may seem like a tougher road, and it might be easier to stay home watching TV instead of heading out to someone’s event, to sleep an extra 30 minutes instead of getting up to exercise, or to take a longer lunch instead of getting back to follow up with a client, what are you missing out on in your relationships, your work or your personal life?

Many opportunities will never come again, like a loved one’s funeral or wedding. Children grow up. You may lose a client to someone else or miss a career opportunity. Or you may develop problems from neglecting things in your personal life, such as your health.

While it isn’t possible to attend every major event for all the people in your life, or to do every possible good thing for work or in your personal life, you can have greater success by prioritizing the key opportunities and activities that make the greatest positive impact. Be one of the successful few to take the road less traveled; choose when, where and how, then — show up!

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