Change your story, change your life

Early American Politician Horace Mann is known for saying, “If an idiot were to tell you the same story every day for a year, you would end by believing it.” What if that idiot is you? OK, you’re not an idiot, but likely you are telling yourself stories that are limiting you.

How do you come by these stories? As it turns out, life happens. You might struggle in a class at school, then tell yourself you aren’t smart. Maybe your boss yells at you, so you determine you aren’t cut out for business.

Throughout your life, you go through various experiences. You have successes and failures; and people in your life, like parents, teachers, bosses and peers say and do things that shape the stories you tell about yourself. The stories may or may not be true, but if you tell them enough, you end up believing them.

These beliefs can keep you from reaching your full potential.

So, how can you stop the limiting stories and live a more joyful life?

1. Awareness. You may not even be aware of the negative stories that are holding you back. Notice what you say when you talk to yourself. What is the tone of your inner voice? Is it critical and berating, or positive and encouraging? What stories are you telling yourself about yourself that are limiting you? When you notice a negative thought, like, “I’m not enough” (not pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, talented enough, etc.), know that you have the power to change it.

One activity that is useful for creating this awareness is to keep a journal or notebook handy. Whenever you notice a negative thought, or you have a bad experience, write it down. Note the circumstance and the negative self-talk or event. Immediately write a positive statement, what you learned, or what you could do better next time.

2. Responsibility. Take responsibility for your story.  People give you observations, and you experience events, but you give these events and observations meaning. Look for the truth. There may be an element of truth and an area that you would benefit from improving. Also, it’s possible that you are holding on to a victim story that is keeping you stuck. Live courageously, and choose to learn the lessons you are given and continue to improve.

3. Clarity. Get a clear sense of who you are and what you believe so that you don’t buy into negative stories others might tell you. It’s interesting how if someone were to walk up to you and say, “You’re a table,” you would laugh it off not thinking for a second that you were a table. However, if someone calls you incompetent, a part of you believes it, and it becomes part of your story. Recognize your worth.  Determine that you are worthy of happiness and success.  You will manifest the stories you believe.

4. Create. Create your own success story. What would your story look like if you had a joyful life? The choices you make come out

of what you believe about yourself. Create a story embodying the highest, fullest expression of yourself, then act on it.

Negative stories that you make a part of you, keep you from living your fullest life. Find a way to express the truth of yourself. Live a more joyful life by noticing the stories you are telling yourself, taking responsibility, deciding to stop the negative stories in their tracks, and realizing your true potential. Create and live your success story, today.

Originally published on The Daily Hearld’s MomClick March 16, 2016

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